Akatsuki on Crack
by MarionetteLuver
Summary: Crazy and quite random read if ya want to, yea, read and review
1. Chapter 1

**Akatsuki On Crack**

**Hmmm well this would be my first posted fan fiction I guess. I'm sorry for all the people who think Sasori and Deidara should be a couple cuz its only going to be a weird friendship. Its gonna be in script form so live with it. Ugh swears and crack review if ya want to. I used to be Silent Blood.**

**Disclaimer: I own fuckin nothing!!**

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Itachi: on computer A-Hah foolish little brother you thought you could beat me!?!!

Sasuke: I must defeat you! Come on one more game pleezzzz?

Itachi: Face it little brother even with your new tactic, I'm better than you ever will be at cyber chess! insert evil laughter here

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Pein: No, Orochimaru… 1. You cannot rejoin…why? Oh I dunno the fact that you hit on about all the Akatsuki members!! 2. We are NOT giving back Tayuya, she hates you and your organization!! Has she said anything about you? WHY would you care? you Sasuke molesting pile of greasy haired scum!! hangs up

Konan: What was that about dear?

Pein: Hmmm, oh Orochimaru called…what do you want?

Konan: Just thought you might want to know a few things….Deidara had some crack you know, 20 pounds worth, Tobi ate all the candy sooo he's uber hyper. Zetsu is trying to eat Kakuzu, Kisame is in a girl apron…again. And Hidan is rounding up lots of people to sacrifice.

Pein: What about Itachi and Sasori?

Konan: Find out yourself, I'm going on vacation.. Good luck.

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Tayuya: cool…back at old snakeys hide out they never were this fun! Crap I need more popcorn! She was watching all the cool Akatsuki chaos Yep cooler than the sound organization!!

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Hidan: at some random town Oh yes Jashin-Sama will be pleased your coming to the "party".

Person #106: yes…I hope so… it's some sort of popularity cult?

Hidan: ….Sureeeeeeee.

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Deidara: Saoriiiiiii-Dannaaaaaa un GLOMP

Sasori: Deidara… get… off… crushing… heart…!

Deidara: Danna…un -

Tobi: Tobi's a good boy, Tobi's a good boy, Tobi's a good boy, Tobi's a good boy, Tobi's a good boy, Tobi's a good boy, Tobi's a good boy, Tobi's a good boy .

Sasori: Ngh.. (manages to push Deidara off) here have a cookie and please leave me alone okay Deidara?

Deidara: M'kay -

Tobi: Tobi wants a cookie, cuz Tobi is a good boy

Sasori: HELL NO!!!! go bug Itachi.

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**Well, that is it for now. I don't give a fuck what you review sooo what ever…and it may be a Dei X Tayuya. Well review and stuff if ya want to.**


	2. Halloween

Akatsuki on Crack

Chappie 2

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, Halloween… my friends and I Christmas caroled J . I'm thinking about changing it out of script form so tell me what you think, right… if you have any random ideas feel free to tell me. On to the story!!

**Dead** dark part of Zetsu

_Dead_ thinking

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Sasori: Why did we have to go trick or treating again?

Tobi: cuz leader-san said we have to get candy

Deidara: Aren't I scary right Danna right?!!! Un

Sasori: You are fuckin Link!!!

Tayuya: guess who I am!!

Itachi: Hn

Tayuya: I didn't ask you, Mr. … what are you?!!?!!?

Itachi: Britney Spears…why?

All but Itachi and Tobi: . . . ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Tobi: What's wrong? Tobi is a French maid.

Deidara: that's only cuz you stole my costume T-T un

Kisame: HAH

Tobi and Deidara: What are you supposed to be??

Kisame: Jaws

All but Kisame:

Pein: BE Quiet, Where's Hidan and Kakazu?

Itachi:… Hidan is still sacrificing people.

Zetsu: And Kakazu is robbing a bank… again. **That Idiot… We should eat him!!**

Pein: we're at the first house… okay 1, 2, 3 !

All: (singing) Jingle bells jingle bell jingle all the way ohh what fun it is to run in a one horse open sleigh hey!

Orochimaru: Why hello-- Tobi, Itachi I absolutely LOVE your costumes!!

Pein: CODE RED, CODE RED!!!

Sasori grabs Tobi, Kisame and Zetsu grab Itachi, and they run like hell.

Tayuya: Damn that was FUN!!!!!!!

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4 hours later at base

Kakazu: Where were you people? I'm fuckin rich $$$$$$

Tobi: We were trick or treating at all the villages gates -! (A/N just imagine, the Akatsuki all chibi knocking at the town gate then shouting, "trick or treat" then Christmas caroling!!)

1 Hour later

All but Hidan and Kakazu: too much sugar!! T-T

Tobi: Tobi is happy Tobi gets more candy added to collection -

Sasori: (poor Sasori, he had to deal with Tobi and Deidara both sugar high) Need… Beer.

Deidara: GLOMP lol, me glomped Sasori no Danna. -

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Right, that's it for now I guess I had to make a little Halloween thing . Review if ya want to…. I LOVE SASORI AND GAARA - :D hope y'all had a good Halloween!

Thanks for reviewing, **Last Grand Duchess. **Bibi now cya. Arigato if ya reviewed -


	3. Chapter 3

I forgot to say this for the last chapter, I OWN NOTHING!!!!!!

Yeah, this is an author note thing, I'm thinking about discontinuing this story and start a new one, so tell me what you think. And if I don't discontinue it ill probably end it soon, so like I said before, let me know what you think. This is MarionetteLuver cya. Thanx if ya reviewed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi sorry I haven't updated in a while, I'm lazy…. I'm not gonna discontinue it cuz **Love Psycho **asked me not to… don't wanna disappoint I guess. Honestly I don't think its that funny… o well. I'm running out of ideas so if you have any tell me. Tnx if ya reviewed.**

**Disclaimer, Itachi: MarionetteLuver. Owns. Nothing.**

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Deidara: we ran out of candy T-T

Sasori: Thank You Lord!!!!!

Hidan: finally! I've converted you ku ku ku ku.

Tobi: Tobi has candy Tobi always has candy blah, blah, blah etc.

Sasori: …. Life was better when I was … dead…ish.

Kakuzu: why are you alive again?

Sasori: well, first you sacrificed Sasuke to bring me back but he bugged Pluto (king of underworld...ya kno from mythology) with all his wannabe emo-ness.

Hidan: why is Deidara alive?

Deidara: you people sacrificed Tobi but he annoyed the hell outta the devil. don't ya remember? Hidan, you're the one who did the sacrificing.

Hidan: o yea that was FUN (not in the wrong sense)

Tobi: I'm still suffering from the emotional scars TT-TT

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Kisame: umm Itachi

Itachi: … wha

Kisame: don't ya think you've been on the computer enough??

Itachi: I have to beat my gay brother 23758 more times!!!! Besides you don't have to watch man porn every day…. Ya homo (A/N sorry, but I bash a lot of characters)

Kisame: HOW DID YOU KNOW!!!!! TT-TT run away

Itachi: phew, he almost saw what I was really doing… YOUTUBE, Akatsuki sailors :D

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Tayuya: Dei-Dei kun

Deidara: are you drunk again?

Tayuya: mebbe (maybe)

Deidara: sighhhhhh. You. Are. Worse. Than. Tsunade.

Tayuya: mph, at least I don't looky like a girly ):p

Deidara: Oo …. never mind.

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Sasori: alone sigh, me time J ) well may as well work on my… WHERE ARE MY PUPPETS!!! DEIDARAAAA!!!!

Deidara: in a different room uh-oh time to go bibi

**I kno, I kno, its not a lot, I promise I'll write some more. Review plz. Buh-bye**

**I'll try to update soon but I'm LAZY.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi again. As usual my story is uber random. As usual if ya have any ideas tell me or write a story. I'm probably gonna bash some people so don't hurt me!**

**Gaara: MarionetteLuver doesn't own Naruto, and most likely never will because 1. She ain't rich. And 2. She would rather read it than create it.**

**MarionetteLuver: its true TT-TT HEY how do ya kno? **

**Gaara: … Sasori told meh.**

**Me: …?!! Wha-eva on with the story!!**

Kisame: WTF OMG why am I in a plane?!?!?!

Konan: Pein thought we should do something different, sooo, we're sky diving!

Itachi: How. Dare. You. Drag. Me. Away. From. My. Computer.

Kakuzu: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS COSTS??!?!!!?!!!

Hidan: **Fuck you**, I was in the middle of a ritual!

Deidara: I no feel good. Ugh (air sickness) un.

Sasori: be quiet brat

Zetsu: does anyone kno _How_ to sky dive, **WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A INSTUCTOR!!**

Pein: it can't be that hard, can it? O wait, here's some parachutes, and… um there's only 8 parachutes. So 1 person won't get one.

Sasori: Don't you mean 2?

Pein: um, there's, Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Me, Konan, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Zetsu, equals 9-18, yea I was RIGHT.

Kisame: 9? What about Tobi?

Deidara: (done spewing out his guts) he… joined … GIRL SCOUTS!!! Un.

All: . . . WHAT THE (FUCK) (A/N the "fuck" is Hidan)

Mad rampage to get parachute.

Kisame: aww man, I didn't get a parachute L

Itachi: this is somewhat fun. (he's already jumped out.)

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Tobi: I LUV GRLL SCOUTS!!!

Sakura: TOBI, you ate all our cookies!!!

Ino: Yea!! I think you should leave girl scouts.

Hinata: maybe- we… shou-ld'nt.

Ten-Ten: … Lets go whoop some randoms ASS!!!

**Yea I kno, not long. Arigato if ya reviewed already. I no kno how long I'll make this story cuz I'm running out of ideas. Review plz I don't care if its flames, gots to learn from meh mistakes eh? My ChEmIcAl RoMaNcE IZ SO AWESOME!!!!**

**No kno when I'll review again. Right… cya! doesn't "Ja ne" mean see you?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi again. I'm gonna finish up the whole sky diving thing now. **

**Me: Deidara?**

**Deidara: wha un?**

**Me: can you say the disclaimer?**

**Deidara: fine un**

**Deidara: MarionetteLuver don't own Naruto un. Can I have a cookie?**

**Me: sure.**

Itachi: (on the ground) I'm. gonna. Go. Back. To. My. Computer.

Kisame: um I can't jump.

Pein: y?

Kisame: I DON'T HAVE A PARACHUTE!!!!

Sasori: you can have mine, I'm gonna just fly down.

Deidara: No! it's not fun that way Sasori no Danna!!

Sasori: too bad. uses his metal wings and fly's down

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Tobi: Tobi feels so sad. Tobi got kicked out of girl scouts. T-T Tobi is alone… hmmm.

I guess Tobi can take off the mask for a little bit…

Fan girls: He, He's So HOTT!!!!

Tobi: Uh oh!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!

Fan girls: aw man he got away T-T

Tobi: ugh, Tobi has to get back to the base! Hey.. Wots that falling from the sky. SASORI TIS THEE!!!

Sasori: Joy for me. NOT!!

Tobi: where is Deidara-Sempai?

Sasori: points at the sky

Tobi: NOOOOOOO!!! He… He's DEAD WAHHHHHH TT-TT

Deidara: I'm right here un.

Tobi: you… you're a ANGEL?!!!

Deidara: WHAT? NO!! un

Sasori: I'm gonna go now.

Deidara: DON'T LEAVE ME WITH "IT"!!!!!

Tobi: that's mean T-T

Sasori: I'm going back to the base.

-- AT THE AKATSUKI BASE --

Konan: I'm Back!

Tobi: Bluey!!

Deidara: RUN AWAY TIME!!

Sasori: Disappear away from Tobi and Deidara

**Yea, now you all kno why Tobi and Kakashi hide their faces. I hope you liked my story. Review if ya want to. Ja Ne.**


	7. Chapter 7

So sorry I haven't updated, buzee with another story. UBER CRACK TIME!!! Line up kids, it's time for your dosage of CRACKIFIED FANFICTIONS!!!!

OoooOOooOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Tobi: why is Tobi in a taxi?

Kisame: this taxi is huge!

Deidara: SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sasori: great, HIDAN!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!!

Hidan: (in a British accent cuz that's lol) shove it up your ass, sasori. WHAT DO YOU WANT FELLOW JASHIN SQUAD MEMBER!???

Sasori: (ranting, Hidan changed him and converted him) they annoy me, sempai! (Hidan is now Sasori's sempai in the arts of Jashin ness)

Kakuzu: You do know that this cost money?!!!!!!

Tobi: OW! Why is Sasori cutting Tobi?!

Sasori: well, since I am part of the Jashin squad I need blood, and I'm a puppet, so I have none.

Itachi: where. Are. We. Going?

Pein: candy store.

Hidan: AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK!! NOO KAKUZU! NOT THE TENTACLES AHHH! HELP ME SASORI!!!!

Sasori: CRAP!, (tosses Hiruko over Hidan saving him from Kakuzu's gayness)

Kakuzu: Nooo! Hey… Sasori, you. Are. Hott. Outta your puppet.

Blades shoot out of Sasori's arms, aimed at… IT.

OooOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Yes I kno, uber short, sorry, review if you want to.


	8. important note

Gomen! I know I haven't updated in a while, buzee, and lazee also running out of ideas, so I'm probably going to end it soon, you know like one or two more chapters, thank you to those who have been reading my story. Merry Christmas and a happy new year!


	9. read

If you people think it takes me long to update now, you don't know nothing, today is my last day with the internet, so now ill have to go to the stupid public library, who is having a new pc lab, that will be good, but I don't know if its done yet

Sorry to those who wait so patiently for my updates that I never work on…..

Lazy I know……..sorry


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